4 Comments
User's avatar
Neural Foundry's avatar

Brilliant how the alliterative constraints force creative solutions that actually preserve meaning better than literal translation. The "bright-eyed" rendering of helikopis captures that lively, darting quality way better than "black-eyed" ever could, especially when the original helix root suggests movement not just color. Worked on some Old English poetry last year and remmeber that epithets in Germanic verse often did similar work, compressing character into rhythmic formula without sounding formulaic.

Jack Laurel's avatar

Yes, the constraints are useful, and though I've experimented with blank-versing this metre (and a lot more besides) I always end up returning to them for that reason.

Sugam Pokharel's avatar

Fitzgerald translated ἑλικώπις as 'the girl who turns the eyes of men' which is perhaps not literarlly accurate but it's a neat solution nonetheless. Great translation. I'm looking forward for further installments.

Jack Laurel's avatar

That's an interesting take on it. "The eye-turning girl goes eft to her father" would just about work as an alternative line.